Faith

Being in Redding so far has been a challenge to say the least.
Being alone in Redding has been awful. I have to block my days into scheduled sections, lest I loose my damn mind! I sleep in till about 10:00, take my time getting ready. Then I take a long time and make an extravagant breakfast. This sets me at about 11:30 maybe even if I'm lucky 11:45. And then I'm screwed the rest of the day because I have no idea what to do unless it's Sunday.
But in my times of being alone I have finished two books, and had time to really listen for God's voice.
I've realized that He's made me promises about my life that He never forgets, but sometimes I do. Or at least I loose hope in them. Not hope... Faith. I loose faith in them. But in reality it's faith in the things unseen that is going to pull them into my reality. Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Heb 11:1 God said, "Have you forgotten my promises to you? Because I haven't" I was like oh shit. Yes! I have forgotten them like an idiot. But I would love to be reminded!

I had a dream a long time ago, that I was flying over the world like a leaf. I have never forgotten this dream because it totally changed my life. But I was reminded of a particular part where there was a map of the U.S. and there were lines I was leaving as I traveled. There was a distinct line between Nashville and Redding. I forgot about that. But I stepped out in faith. Knowing that God would have to provide, and he has a plan for me out here. It's because of faith that my actual being is here, in Redding, doing absolutely nothing. But I'd rather be doing nothing here if it's what God wants me to do. I know that in a few weeks I will look back on this first week and go, that wasn't so bad. Because I will have a job, I will have friends, and I will be so wrapped up in school that I will long for these days when I had nothing to do.
I've been driving alone listening to music a lot. I cry a lot.


You know those signs people hang up in their houses that say like "Live Laugh Love" or "Life is Hard, But God is Good," yeah I hate those signs. No offense. I just hate them. That is all for now.